Transcript

 

00:00

Hey guys, this episode is about do your words matter. Welcome to the Christian point with Zac and Linda. I always love it when I get to do this with you, honey. Well, I’m super excited about this episode. And this is going to be really important podcast that affects us daily. We’re going to be talking about how our words we choose influence other’s lives. And we’re going to talk about actually how to get better results by using positive words that can change someone’s life dramatically. And we’re going to share some insights related to hurtful words. And today I’m with my husband, Zack McConnell, and we’re here in Texas. And we love our sunny spring time and the tree leaves so that baby fresh green outside and I’ve got my daffodils and they’re showing off right now and my grape hyacinths are blooming, so we’ll be right back with this great episode of the Christian point.

 

01:00

Welcome to the Christian point podcast, where we’re all about growing your relationship with God. As lifelong Christian believers, your hosts Zach and Linda McConnell explore topics that affect your world. Together, they are relearning and redirecting our path as we walk through struggles hang ups, sins and purpose. The Christian point is a lively discussion that will help equip you with tools provide focus and encouragement from a biblical perspective. Always remember, Christ is the point. Now here are your hosts, Zach and Linda.

 

01:36

Welcome to the Christian point. Thank you for listening today. We look at God’s word, and we take today’s hot topics, and we weigh them against the Bible. So we’re really excited about this episode. And we’re happy you tuned in this week with us, we’re going to be talking about times when words changed your life. And this season here in Texas is early spring. And that makes me think of spring renewal and growth, and how we can start each day a new and help be a better influence on others in our lives.

 

02:10

So Linda, do you remember something someone said to you that maybe changed your life for good or for bad? So what’s the first time you can think of when words changed someone or something in your life?

 

02:23

Wow. Oh, yeah. Well, I remember one of our next door neighbor’s she was our babysitter. And one day she came over. And she was told me that when she was young, her mom told her that she was an accident. And she wasn’t planned. And she really didn’t mean to have her at all, which was a terrible moment for our babysitter when she shared that with me. And she felt very hurt by what her mom had said. But then later, her mom came to Christ, and then told her that she realized that God must have wanted her to be born for some reason, which is so interesting, because they really didn’t go to church. And they didn’t talk about God very much. But those words always stuck with her. And like she wondered, does God have a particular purpose for my life? And that’s why I’m here.

 

03:15

Well, the reason I wanted to ask you that Lin is because it brings up a point where the scriptures makes it very clear. Our words have power. Ryan, you think about your marriage and your parenting and what you say to your spouse and what you say to your kids, what you said to your parents. I mean, it goes both ways, right? It’s powerful. Because it it sticks, word stick, you know, there’s a phrase that Sticks and stones may break my bones, we used to always say that on the on the play yard, his kids, his words will never hurt me. Well, that’s the biggest lie ever. Words can really, really hurt and bring damage to a person. Just think about the impact of bullying, and how people can be in counseling for years after they’ve experienced bullying, right? You know, so it’s important that our words are not negative. We don’t want to hurt people. And we need to realize we can use our words for the opposite. as well. We can use positive words, and that experience can change a person’s direction, right? They’re giving words and uplifting words, those positive words can literally shape a life for good, right? So in your baby sitters example, it’s almost like your mom said something that sounded negative. And it felt hurtful that she was a mistake. And it turned into something that ended up giving her hope as she turned it positive. And so even though she wasn’t a believer until her teenage years, she was always wondering, does God really know me?

 

04:46

Right? Well, her thoughts went to was I born on purpose for a purpose. And I always wondered that when I was growing up. Well, I was very fortunate to be raised by a wonderful, godly mom. A dad who would quote the Bible verses regularly, like proverbs 1821 says, The tongue can bring death or life, and those who love to talk will reap the consequences. So life and death is in the power of the tongue. And you know, we have the power of life and death in the tongue. So my mom spoke in me, and honestly, I can’t really remember us her ever saying anything negative to me, she was hard on me, for sure. And she discipline me. You know, I mean, I’ve made some mistakes, especially as a teenager. And so she would lay down the law. But even then, she never condemned me. She never said, I’m a loser. Or I can remember, she always believed in me, and she always spoke life into me, and she affirmed me. And she said, God’s gonna do great things in it through you. And in our family, we really didn’t price one another very much as a family growing up, we were very performance oriented, and we were competitive as sisters. But I was surprised and getting a high school award from my high school counselors. And I’ll never forget this. And I was awarded the most likely to go into a religious career, which was really baffling to me at the time since I planned on attending UT Austin for broadcasting. And religion was not on my radar. So no one had ever told me that before. And it really was amazing. It felt like gold that was given to me because no one had ever complimented me in my family like that. And I realized I really came so hungry to hear any positive words about my destiny. And she was right. I didn’t know she was right. But I remember thinking, Am I going to pursue a Christian leadership role? So yeah, my path

 

06:53

you are. And you know, Linda, I’m so proud of you, because you are such a great spiritual leader, and you’re such a great spiritual influence on my life. And your high school counselor, she saw something, and she called it out. And so I think it’s really important today that we talk about the power of our words in our marriage, right power of our words, is parents. And even our power of our word is children to our parents, it’s, it all makes such a difference. You think about your words, in take a beat before you say something. Right? I think this is something we need to talk about today, we have to be very careful, we spew words out of our mouths so quickly, in our marriages in in, we need to understand that these are words that can build up in bring life to our marriage, right? As well as tear it down. And we need to be careful, this also can happen with our children. And there’s words that, you know, we need to always avoid, because they just bring death, they tear things down. Like we read in Proverbs 1218. It says, The words of a reckless pneus can pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Now, isn’t that a good one? Absolutely. And another proverbs 1624. kind words are like honey, sweet to the soul in healthy for the body?

 

08:17

Absolutely. Well, we’ve sort of talked about the first one, because there are three ways to leverage the power of your words. Well, you first in a relationship, obviously, again, marriage and parenting is the first one. And it’s simple. But it’s like when you think something good. Well, what you need to do as you need to speak it out. Because it can be life changing for them. And it can bring life to your marriage. And it can bring life to your kids. Absolutely. And you think something bad. And I would say, well, sort of keep it to yourself, we do need to keep it going. It takes years to get negative words out of your head. And as a rule of thumb, think of the fruits of the Spirit. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness and self control. And if your words don’t reflect the fruits of the Spirit, then maybe you need to keep silent. And check your tone. If your tone is harsh or cynical, then your words will not be received positively. And you’re not building up the listener.

 

09:23

Yeah, I mean, those are hurtful words. Words we do and should say, and there are words that we should not say, right? Like we should never say you should have never, you should have never never married me or I wish you were dead. Those rights you just don’t say you can’t take those words back once you say them. Those words are just not edifying or building up. They’re just not positive in any way. You don’t even speak those words. It just like you don’t speak every thought that comes to you in your head. You know, it’s it’s good to have take Wise thoughts as you go through, in fact, some of the wisest counseling? I think of is I mean, there’s some things that we might think in the heat of the moment, it’s just not going to be helpful. And then on the other side, there’s other things that are truthful, that need to be said, and their life giving. If it’s helpful, then you need to say,

 

10:24

Absolutely, yeah, I really regret even with our kids, I was saying negative things. I don’t think they were negative in terms of their character. But I was constantly critiquing them, like, you need to work harder on that, or you need to study more, or you need to go go to this event, or you need to knock out a party’s, or you need to get off your phone. And I remember saying to our kids one time, man, I’m just so proud of you. And do you know how proud I am at you? And our kids said, Yes, Mom, definitely you tell us that. But some parents may go to bed wondering, do I not tell my kids, I’m proud of them enough. But sometimes, also, I was so busy critiquing them and worried about what they would become that I really wasn’t speaking the good things that I was thinking about. And I told him, I was proud of them. But I also stayed on them with questions that really weren’t encouraging. And garden, your mouth is one of the ways we progress in sanctification by learning to guard our mouth. And we have to carefully consider each word and the tone that comes out. And I look at Proverbs 2123, whosoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble. I mean, that’s a great one. And then James three, verse five. In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches, but a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire.

 

11:57

Yeah, another one in James 126. You can claim to be religious, but don’t control your tongue. You’re fooling yourself in your religion is worthless.

 

12:07

Absolutely. And then I look at Titus three, verse two, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy to all people. And then I look at Psalm 3413, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. And then in Ephesians, 419, let no corrupting talk come out of your mouth, but only such as as good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear it.

 

12:39

Yeah, you know, some some great ideas that come to mind of how all of us can improve. And you can set these routines up to speak into your spouse into your kids, and positively affirm them. Here’s one idea that I’d like to start doing. Every birthday, you make a sit down birthday meal, and everyone at the table has to say something that love about the birthday person, or something that they have seen them in growth in for that year, something they’ve appreciated about them, this could be so awesome. Or tell them exactly how it was on the day they were born. Tell them a story of what was going on when they were born, tell them what we were feeling. And tell them what happened afterward. Right? You know, tell them where God was in it. And then that each family member should all give them a birthday blessing. Yes. You know, that would be great. If some of your kids are in high school or middle school, and they’re rolling their eyes, right? Just keep doing it just never stop. Right. And when you do it, all I can say is it it brings life in their chest pops out. I mean, again, it’s the power of the words. And I’m not kidding, every time I roll my eyes, and I think we’re not going to do this stupid thing again this year. And then when I’m the one receiving the blessing, The Power of the Blessing of the words, wow, it’s great. And that’s what I’m saying. We need to leverage your words by saying positive things.

 

14:13

Absolutely. Well, here’s what happened that really changed me. We had two brother in law’s that died of cancer at the age of 40. With just within a few years of each other, and one was the doctor, the other one engineer from NASA. We were in our 30s at the time, we had two young girls, and at the funerals. I’ll never forget all these people were standing up and speaking so highly of both of them. And they had stories about both of them, and stories of who they were and what each of them had done and how their lives had impacted them personally. And I mean, it was amazing, beautiful words. And I remember thinking, I sure hope they shared all of these with both of them before they passed and you actually perform funeral sack for people. And you have seen the same thing. And some of the most touching funerals are when family members get up and speak and share their unique touching stories of how this person impacted their lives. And hearing people share at a funeral is just beautiful. And the sad thing is often, they have never said these words until this person is gone. And we actually we own a senior care company. And I remember a time when a grandmother was on hospice, and she was getting close, it was going to be her time to die. And the children wanted to do a living funeral like a living memorial, and they wondered if USAC would come and participate in it.

 

15:45

Yeah, yeah, ended up in this room with this family, there were about 15 people or so all gathered around grandkids, the whole family, you know, in a grandma was sitting there in a wheelchair, and she was gonna die in, we knew it would probably happen in days or weeks at best. And they literally went around the room. And it became a blessing him just watching them say things about their grandmother, they spoke life into her before she died. It was normally the kind of thing you’d see, say to someone after they die, or, you know, at their funeral. But they said it while she was still alive. And I remember thinking that is so important to say. Just think say it out loud to the person that you love that your spouse, your kids, a person you respect your grandparents, words of life, don’t let a day go by without that you really need to incorporate, you know, the birthday blessing we were talking about a moment ago, into your family traditions from now on, or take a moment this weekend and say, Hey, let’s do a Friday night dinner. Yeah, and let’s say out loud, here’s the rules. There’s nothing negative get out nothing. And I know there’s negative things you think and maybe there’s negative things that somebody have said sometimes, but today, we’re only going to say positive things. So that’s one way to leverage your art words. Right? Right. And the second would would be to write it.

 

17:15

Absolutely. I’ve talked to so many people over the years and have said, words are just very difficult for them to express our I’m not very good at expressing it. And I do have so much love for my spouse or my kids. And I’ll say to them, well, you should just write it down. And I’ll say that about you sad that you have left me some really sweet post it notes on my printer or on my mirror. And because you say it with your words. And it’s really so eloquently done when you ride it to me. And when you hand me a note, or I find out that you’ve left me, I go into the other room, I sit in the chair, and I just read it by myself because you’re so good with expressing yourself through your written words. And they’re just really treasures and I keep them

 

18:01

well, that’s great. And you know, one of the things I really want to be more mindful of is writing things for my kids in written letters. And I can say one of the most powerful things to convey love and respect and hope into them is is by writing it. And I can say I know that when you’ve written notes to me, Linda, or even cards or love notes or respect notes. I know you love me. But when you write me affirmations of what you believe in me, that you trust in me, affirming me and seeing greatness in me, those words build me up so much I wonderful. I don’t even know this, but you might not even know this rather. But in my middle drawer of my desk at the office, I have a little stack of cards from the kids and my parents wrote to me over the years. And why do I have those kind of stuck away somewhere? It’s because every once in a while, I’ll appreciate those I will pull them out when I’m struggling a bit in wondering if there’s anything that I’m doing to impact anyone. And I read one of those in one of those ones you’ve written me and it lifts me up. It’s the power of the word written. I mean, even an email or a text, that’s powerful as well, right? I even got some voicemails saved on my phone where people said thank you for impacting my life. So when you say it in when you write it, now think about this. When you write something positive to a son or a daughter, or even a text, it may be you’re not going to pull out the paper and pen but you could pull out your phone and do a text. And it’s just a big impact that you can make in their day. Right. And I just last year was going through something in my office and I found a letter that my dad wrote in, I was in college stuck away in some old boxes. And I wasn’t even sure what it was when I started reading it and I’m like, Oh my goodness. You know, how valuable it was? What he wrote, he said how great it was to have a sunlight me. And it was a treasure, you know, because it was written down. And one of my favorite memories was a surprise anniversary party, our daughter Marshall pulled off when we celebrated 30 years of marriage. And she had all of our closest friends and family write a letter to us. And this was such a great gift. And we had this party, it was a big surprise. And she had all these letters clipped on her window blinds for everyone to read, in all these family members and close friends saying great words. Yes, yes, it made me a satisfied man. I was special. It was like everything I had hoped to do in my life. They were affirming it. And they were thanking us for being such a positive influence. They were thanking us for being good parents and a positive friend in their life. It was a great surprise, I had no idea she was doing it. And it was

 

20:56

memorable, we will never forget that. So if you’re a spouse, or a son or daughter, this is really the day to say, Dad or honey, here’s what I see good in you. And I know some of you are going to be like, I don’t see anything good. Well, there’s something there that you could write down. And again, saying it’s one thing, and that’s powerful. And that’s one way to leverage it. But a second way is if you write it down, it becomes timeless. And I’m going to say the same thing. You might not, you might be really struggling to see the good in your kids, or the good in your spouse or the good in your parents. And when you start writing down the good things, a miraculous thing starts happening. And God reminds you of all of these really great things that have happened. And then you start seeing that person and a little bit different attitude toward them. And you see them the way that God sees them. It’s just beautiful. And I think it’s a great exercise to do. I even remember decades ago, writing a tribute to my mom. And so I started to write one. And whereas I was writing, I was like, okay, my goodness, let me think she was hard working. She was a great Christian mom. So I thanked her for that. And then we made a scrapbook to keep and we added that letter to it. And I had a scrapbook we put together of all the pictures of them through the years. And we wrote letters to them all the spouses wrote letters to them, the in laws, the grandkids, wrote in this book, and my parents sat there for probably two hours. And they just wanted to read all the words and these letters, and they wept and it was just absolutely beautiful. So what we’re talking about, there’s three ways to leverage your words in your marriage and in your family. And the first one is say it, the second one is to write it. And here’s the third one. And it’s sort of the same, but it’s different. You need to choose it. And what I mean by that is choosing it means choose specific words for specific people and specific times. So in other words, this is very important as a mom and dad, when you’re looking at your son or daughter, and speak words of life apply directly to exactly who they are. Don’t just say, Oh, you’re a great kid, or I’m blessed by you. It’s the specifics that will set you apart. And, you know, man, you can really see that God gifted them as a leader. Or I can see that God gifted you and music or God gifted you an organization or God gifted you and creativity. And God gifted you and your writing abilities, whatever it might be. But when you write down and see that God has gifted them, and you’re thinking specifically about each one of your kids, your amazing gift in this area, any one of their specialties, and you write that that speaks life into them, and they will love it.

 

24:04

Yes, you know, you’re speaking life into them that life. I remember one of the books I read years ago, talked about starting with phrases like I remember when and then speak of some specific memory. It could be your child’s love for Speech and Debate or their love to read books, your their love for writing, you can say, you’ve been like this since you were a little boy. I can’t wait to see what God does with that. I think it’ll be something like the law. And so now our sons in law school, right and a do. He’s doing his dream, you know, but first came by identifying something and then saying it and choosing words that supported it. You know, our words should reveal the change in our heart. When we’re saved. God gives us a new heart. Our word should reflect the change that has occurred in us. We should no longer talk With a crass descriptions or profane language, our words should be glorifying to God Colossians four six says, Let your speech always be gracious season to assault, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. Also in John 15, three, already, you are clean because of the words that I have spoken to you. And then in Matthew 15, he writes, the good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil brings forth evil. I tell you, on the Day of Judgment, people will give account for every careless word they speak, For by your words, you will be justified, and by your words, you will be condemned. Oh, absolutely,

 

25:48

that gives you a lot of thought, and put it in writing. And I hope with you and your spouse, or you and your parent, or you and your child, that you will choose affirming words and say it and write it do both. And be specific with it. And you could literally change someone’s life. And if you have the power of life in your tongue, speak it and speak to it wisely, building up each other with words, while words can injure, they can also build each other up. And in Proverbs 18. Four, it says a person’s words can be life giving water, words of true wisdom, are as refreshing as a bubbling Brook. So words can be a fountain of Godly wisdom, which brings forth life giving fresh, renewed spirit when we affirm others and build them up. And Zach, I was thinking even as an application or homework, what would this look like for our dinner table sometime this week to sit down and talk about this topic of the power of our words, and even asking our kids if they’re in your home? Or maybe it’s your grandkids? What have been some of the most positive words that someone has said to you. And that’d be a great conversation, and then ask what have been some of the negative words that people have said to you, and maybe they’ve really hurt you. And that was hard to take. And that will give you guys a chance as a family to be really super vulnerable. But then you can also have time, if they talk about the negative words to hear their hear them out. And really like, oh, man, I’m really sorry that they said that to you. But this is what I see in you and build them back up. And this could be really fun as a family to walk through it. And you would be speaking life into one another.

 

27:46

Yeah. Also think of Proverbs 15, for gentle words to bring life and health. A deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. Another quote, I love is kind words do not cost much, but they accomplish so much. And I think most of us can think back in our own lives to things that our parents may have said to some of those things that have left possible scars. But other things may have be encouraging to us or spurred us on, right. Or maybe there’s the absence of things said, maybe you never had a parent who said, I love you, or I’m proud of you, I believe in you. As parents today, we can make those deposits in our children’s lives. And we can use our words, as Linda just said, to speak life into our children, right. And we need to take a minute today to just say how grateful we are for those of you who are not only our regular listeners, but there’s a small select group that support the Christian point podcast and makes this program possible for our listeners. And if it’s those of you who donate financially to our ministry, you’re helping us to expand the reach of this ministry to more people more often right? And your investment in this ministry is actually an investment in the lives in marriages of families of the 1000s of people who are tuning in, and listening to our podcast. Thank you. Thank you for making this possible. To your financial support.

 

29:13

Absolutely. says that. I’m going to thank everyone for joining us. I hope these messages spoke to you guys. And as I recap today’s podcast, remember, words are not empty. Scripture commands us to not use words lightly, but to make sure that they reflect the Holy Spirit who dwells in us. And we have to be a light to the world. And one way we do that is by not using the same crashed language as the world does. And this is further seen in Matthew 1818, which proclaims, truly I say unto you, whatever you have, bind on earth shall be bound in heaven. And whatever you shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. And we’d love to hear from you, write a review, subscribe or share this podcast. And you could do that through the apple podcast, Google podcasts or go to the Christian point.com. And thank you so much for listening to the Christian point with Zach and Linda, let us know your thoughts by leaving a review. And be sure to subscribe and share these episodes. And that will help you be the hands and feet of Jesus by sharing this message. We’d love for you to check out our website, the Christian boy.com app, you can make a donation you can help us spread this message even further.

 

30:33

And that’s the Christian point.com.

 

30:36

Absolutely. And we encourage you to leave your testimony, you can give us a review. That’s also really helpful. And we would love to pray over you. God’s blessing and peace be with you. And remember, until next time, Christ is the point.

 

30:53

Thanks for listening to the Christian point. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast and connect with us on Instagram, Facebook, or visit us on the web at Deep Christian point.com. If you enjoyed the show, please share it with your friends on social media. Until next time, always remember Christ is the point

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